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HP Bug of the Week...?
From: mcdowell () magicnet magicnet net (cssm.com)
Date: Fri, 20 Sep 1996 23:19:57 -0400

A friend of mine is on some underground board in Arizona, he said this
floated past him a few days ago.  I figure some people here might be
interested.  I think all you really need to read is that first bullet
point thingie, but I'll post the whole thing anyway, it's not long.

Hello there, member of unnamed organization.

The Salvador Dali Lama Corporation is pleased to announce the
formation of a new internal division that has a capacity to affect
you, the home viewer.  We have always enjoyed creativity in our
ideas and diversity in our goals, and we think this expansion in
computer security will help serve many people and reap large rewards
for all involved.  The Salvador Dali Lama Corporation proudly presents
to you: the HP Bug of the Week.

SDLC Corporate Vision:
        Our company wishes to enhance stockholder value by getting laid more
often.  This will allow for beneficial sperm with exceptional DNA to be
spread across the face of the globe and beyond, broadening our potential
customer base.

Mission Statement of the HP Bug of the Week Staff:
        In accordance with our Corporate Vision, we will find new ways to
get money to give to women in order to get laid more often.  If at all
possible, we will attempt to remove money as a source of traffic flow, and
stick directly to the sex, thereby increasing the speed at which we can
broaden our potential customer base.

        The staff of the HP Bug of the Week wish to affirm the following

        1) We will make every attempt at producing weekly reports with
        regard to bugs, holes, and other security related issues concerned
        with the computers and devices of Hewlett-Packard and the HP/UX
        operating system.  These reports will be issued via the INFORMATION
        SUPERHIGHWAY fnord and the World Wide Web each and every Friday
        after 5PM (when all the sysadmin's have gone home for the day and
        are safely watching the X-files) at the following URL:

        2) We will get laid more often.

        4) If we don't get laid more often, odds are we'll just keep on
        poking away at the Operating System trying to find bugs, so I think
        that it's in everybody's best interest that our Corporate Vision
        is accomplished pretty damn soon.

        8) We will not use violence against any other member of the human
        race unless they really deserve it.  (Cops don't count, they're
        not human.)

        16) If for some reason a weekly exposure of a new bug cannot occur,
        an attempt will be made to get a proxy administrator to arrange for
        the delivery of the new report.

        32) If for some reason a proxy administrator is unable to make the
        appropriate arrangements, attempts will be made at random intervals
        by the original staff to arrange for the delivery of the new report.

        63 and a half) Attempts will be made to answer any question or
        complete any inquiry made to the HP Bug of the Week staff.

        pi) If the staff is unable to produce an adequate response in a
        reasonable period of time, then tough titties to ya.

We at the Salvador Dali Lama Corporation are proud to present this
exciting new FREE opportunity to you, and all the scum like you.  We hope
that you enjoy the show.

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