FC: National Review on Oral Sex, Linux, and "Slashdot.com"

[Declan McCullagh <declan () well com>]

The Goldberg File, Updated 11/12/99
http://www.nationalreview.com/goldberg/goldberg.html

by Jonah Goldberg, Editor of NR Online

ORAL SEX, LINUX, AND SMASHING THE THIRD WORLD
I'm back. Italy was beautiful, but then again, that's what it's there for.
I planned on coming back tanned, rested and ready. Instead, I'm paler,
jetlagged, and even fatter. But I am back.

[...]

Fortunately, there was an interesting piece in yesterday's New York Times
on the topic of web magazine statistics. Apparently I am not the only one
who can't think straight until he's gotten his morning dose of page
impressions, user sessions, and the like. Apparently the gang at Salon,
Slate, and the Industry Standard spend as much time as I do walking around
bus stations in fishnet stockings and I'll-work-for-Bill-Clinton-pumps in
order to satisfy their page-impression cravings. Michael Kinsley, the
editor of Slate, calls web stats "insidious" because of their baleful
effect on journalistic standards - or something like that.

Regardless, in the piece the pros from the "big" web mags offer some hints
about what kinds of stories and headlines generate serious traffic. A
headline relation to "oral sex" always seems to grab the attention more
than, say, an article on Orrin Hatch's views on judicial review. And - get
this - the editors at Salon have found reasons to include "Oral Sex" in a
number of headlines. Funny how that works.

More interesting is the fact that articles relating to "Linux" - the name
the Peanuts character assumes when he stars in Roman Empire-motif porn
movies (like The Erotic Adventures of Hercules with Norman Fell as Zeus) -
get huge hits. No, actually Linux is a programming language. But
coincidentally, its boosters do tend to think they live in Ancient Rome
and they are Christians trying to topple the world with their selfless
philosophy of open, free software as opposed to the imperial tyranny of,
say, Microsoft. Apparently there's this thing called the "Slashdot Effect"
(it sounds better if you say it like it's a preview for a new Bruce Willis
movie: "Bruce Willis is Arliss McKinkledorp. When others go on dates, he
writes code. See why in: The Slashdot Effect. It seems if you mention the
LINUX OPERATING SYSTEM, millions upon millions of people see the link on
the Slashdot.com website and come on over, because Slashdot.com monitors
all mentions of LINUX SOFTWARE and links to them. Who would have thought
that so many people were interested in Linux software? Maybe if Linux
software told us something about Oral Sex? Oh well, never mind.

Now, in the past I have admitted that I am not above debasing myself for
cheap high-traffic thrills. In fact if you search for "Lesbian Love Goats"
on google.com the first couple of results should be the Goldberg File.

[...]




--------------------------------------------------------------------------
POLITECH -- the moderated mailing list of politics and technology
To subscribe: send a message to majordomo () vorlon mit edu with this text:
subscribe politech
More information is at http://www.well.com/~declan/politech/
--------------------------------------------------------------------------